I have a friend who is going through a difficult time. Nothing really new, but troubling nonetheless. We had dinner with some other friends tonight, but as I was driving home, I felt compelled to give her a call even though I’d just seen her. I didn’t say much, just that I was sorry she was having to deal with all she’s dealing with, etc. She talked some, but she also just broke down into tears. I have learned over time that there isn’t always anything that can be done except to just ‘be there’ for others, but sometimes that is the most and the best that can be done. Although this topic of ‘encouragement’ is frequently on my mind, it did get me to thinking about ways to encourage others again. I found the following on the internet tonight and thought it had some good suggestions. I would imagine we all have probably thought of or done a number of these for others from time to time, but some were things that I know I need to ‘fine tune,’ so I thought I’d post them here in hopes that maybe someone else can use them to encourage others as well.
19 Ways to Encourage Others
by Stacy Wiebe
Encouragement goes straight to the heart. In fact, the word itself comes from a combination of the prefix "en" which means "to put into" and the Latin word "cor" which means heart. Knowing what a big difference encouragement makes in your own life, what can you do to help others "to take heart" when the going gets tough and way feels long?
Become aware of what encourages you, and do those same things for others.
Learn individuals' "love language"-the special way in which they feel most valued. In his book, The Five Languages of Love, Gary Chapman explains that not everyone's emotional needs are met in the same way, and that it's important to learn to speak others' love language. The five love languages are: words of affirmation, spending quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch.
If an encouraging thought comes to mind, share it! It may not have the same effect if you wait. Don't let shyness hold you back. Instead, form a new habit: "Encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today…" (Hebrews 3:13).
When you introduce someone, add a few words of praise for the person's abilities, accomplishments, about how they've helped you or about the nature of your relationship. It's encouraging to be praised in front of others.*
When someone is discouraged or hurting, offer specific, practical help. If you ask, "How can I help?" the person might be at a loss to answer. It's better to ask, "Would it help if I…(specific action) or say, "I would like to…(specific action)?*
Remind fellow Christians of the specific promises of God and characteristics of God. We may know something with our mind, but need to be reminded in our heart. The Apostle Peter wrote, "I will always remind you of these things, even though you know them and are firmly established in the truth you now have" (2 Peter 1:12).
Write someone a note to tell them that you're praying for them. Tell them what you're praying. You can pray specific Scriptures for individuals such as Romans 15:13, "[I pray that] the God of hope [will] fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."
Make celebration a more regular part of your relationships. Celebrate others' victories, large and small-with a note, with coffee together, with a special meal, a congratulatory phone call or just a high-five!
Be specific when you offer words of praise; it makes your encouragement more credible and concrete "You did a great job at…" "I really appreciate that you…" "I was really impressed that you…"
Encourage other believers with a reminder of Christ's coming. It redirects our thinking to an eternal perspective and ultimate deliverance from the sin and death. "We who are still alive and are left will be caught up in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage each other with these words" (1 Thessalonians 5:17b-18).
Realize the power of presence. Just being there is encouraging! When you're with others, you're telling them that they're important. The Apostle Paul closed his letter to the church at Colosse promising to send his friend Tychius "that he may encourage your hearts" (Colossians 4:8b).
If you're part of a church, Bible study or fellowship, be committed to showing up. Your simple presence encourages others that they are part of a community of faith and that they are not alone. That's why the writer of Hebrews says, "Let us not give up the habit of meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another-and all the more as we see the Day approaching" (Hebrews 10:25).
If someone you know is working on a large project, send her a single flower to encourage her at the beginning of the project, and a full bouquet when it's done.*
Use encouragement as an outreach. If anyone should be known for being an encourager, it should be the Christian. Write a letter of appreciation to people at work, your apartment manager, your child's teacher or your doctor. Often when we interact with these people, we are asking for their services. Take time just to say thank you!*
If you really want to encourage someone who gives you excellent service, write a letter of commendation to the person's boss.*
We could learn something from the way team athletes freely pat, touch and high-five each other in competition. Touch is a powerful encouragement. Be sure to be sensitive in this area, though. Ask someone if you can hug her first.
When you see someone making positive changes in their lives, affirm them. "You seem to have a really great attitude about…" "It may be that I'm just starting to take notice, but I see that you're…" "Do you think that you are becoming more…?"
Tell people how they've encouraged you!
Walk daily in the power of the Holy Spirit, asking Him to give you what you need to encourage others. Just as it is impossible to live the Christian life in one's own strength, it's also impossible to freely, unselfishly pour out encouragement without the help of the Holy Spirit who is our Encourager.
I would be curious if you have any other suggestions or ways that others have encouraged you. It is certainly something we all need from time to time!
5 comments:
These are excellent! And when we encourage others, it trickles down and makes us feel good too. Thanks for sharing these!
I love this post. Encouragement is so important. That's just one more thing I love about blogging. I honestly love the fact that we all encourage each other and support each other in the good times and bad. All of these suggestions are wonderful and I'm thankful for them and for your friendship.
I totally echo Beachkat's sentiments. I feel so amazingly lifted up and encouraged by you blogging friends. Who would have thought that such profound encouragement could come from those we've never even met?
This is a really good article. Thanks for sharing it.
I love these tips! I believe it is so important to be an encouragement to those around us....even though I often fail at it! Thank you so much for sharing this, Dianne!
Your friend is blessed to have a friend like you. You're right...sometimes there isn't a whole lot we can say but it's comforting to know that we're there for each other.
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