Take the time

"No one means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean.”
-- Henry Adams (American Historian 1838-1918)

I got this quote from a friend a couple of years ago via e-mail. It struck me as powerful, so I printed it and taped it to my computer at work. Now that I am used to seeing it there, it gets overlooked in the day to day of life, but for some reason, the topic of words and how we use them has been on my mind lately. We use so many of them in the course of a day……for speaking as well as writing, for sharing with others, for conveying both minor and important messages to people who are listening. It just makes me wonder how many words we may say that we don’t mean, how many words we leave unsaid that we really should say and how many we actually do use to encourage others. They really can have a lasting impact.

I lost a very dear friend 10 years ago this year. She was a champion of encouragement in word as well as in deed. She would call just to say hey and that she was thinking about you. She was a hugger. She was good-hearted. She was the one who had cute nicknames for everyone. She never had anything ill to say about anyone that I ever heard. She was humble. As we all do, she had her insecurities, but she was just the one that everyone loved to be around and be friends with. Unfortunately, at 33 years old, her life was cut short by a co-worker who robbed two young children of their mother, a husband of his wife, a family of their daughter and sister, and countless friends of a thoughtful, selfless example. I learned a lesson then that changed me at the very core of my being. My last conversation with her was rushed as it was one morning when I was late to work, so I was in a hurry to get off the phone and on the road. Although there is no way I could have known that would be my last conversation with her, I cannot tell you the number of times I have kicked myself for being in a hurry. It took me a long time to get past that. I was/am a little late to work most mornings (!!)……why was that one any different? Although I still hate it tremendously, time has allowed me to take comfort in the fact that almost every time she would call, I would thank her for being so good at keeping in touch and for her friendship. Since her death, I have come across several notes that she sent me in the mail that I had forgotten I had even kept. I guess I kept them because she made me feel special and appreciated. She was such an encourager. She spoke from her heart. She said what she meant and she didn’t overlook people, no matter who they were. In friendship and in life, she was the real deal.

Life experience teaches a lot of things, and as mentioned above, I learned huge lessons from her life and from her death. I learned that it’s okay to be silly. I learned that it’s okay to tell others that you love them, that you appreciate them and that they mean something to you. I learned that it’s okay to reach out to someone who may be hurting or need encouragement. I learned that it’s okay to just ‘be there’ and that words aren’t always necessary. Although I struggle with this one, I know it’s okay because I saw her live life with her whole heart. Most of all, I watched her live her life being the kind of friend that I want to be. I learned that none of us know how long we have.

Take the time

To love somebody

Oh take the time

To show someone you care

Will you have another chance to be

The answer to a prayer

Take the time
(lyrics from ‘Take the Time’ by Michael English)

Take the time. Say the words. You (and others) will be glad you did.