Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. -
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests:
I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.
As I start toward the garage,
I notice mail on the porch table that
I brought up from the mail box earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys on the table,
Put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
And notice that the can is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back
On the table and take out the garbage first.
But then I think,
Since I'm going to be near the mailbox
When I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my checkbook off the table,
And see that there is only one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study,
So I go inside the house to my desk where
I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking.
I'm going to look for my checks,
But first I need to push the Coke aside
So that I don't accidentally knock it over.
The Coke is getting warm,
And I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke,
A vase of flowers on the counter
Catches my eye--they need water.
I put the Coke on the counter and
Discover my reading glasses that
I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk,
But first I'm going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter,
Fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.
I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,
I'll be looking for the remote,
But I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,
So I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,
But first I'll water the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers,
But quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back on the table,
Get some towels and wipe up the spill.
Then, I head down the hall trying to
Remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day:
The car isn't washed,
The bills aren't paid,
There is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter,
The flowers don't have enough water,
There is still only 1 check in my checkbook,
I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses,
And I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all darn day,
And I'm really tired.
I realize this is a serious problem,
And I'll try to get some help for it,
But first I'll check my e-mail....
7 comments:
LOL!!!!!!!!
That is hilarious!
And unfortunately, I am all too quickly approaching A.A.A.D.D myself. :0
It reminds me of a 'bit' that Anita Renfroe does. If you haven't seen it, you need to check her out. (Of course, I can't remember which DVD of hers it's on!!!)
~jess
I have that too! Not being able to find my glasses is the worst since then I can't see to do anything else! :)
Been there, done that!
My husband is really bad about not being able to find things. He never puts things in the same place twice - his hat, his glasses, his cell phone. But lately, I'm finding myself not putting things where they should be and then not being able to find them later. Scary! I'm turning into him!
HILARIOUS!!! I saw something like this before, but this one is even funnier. I can so identify! That's why I live by lists. Lately I've had a few crazy times of hunting for my cell phone when I was ready to leave the house - all the while carrying it in my one hand while I'm looking for it. I guess I'm like the Biblical saying - my right hand doesn't know what my left hand doeth!!
OMIGOSH - I have the same disease. This is so funny. Beth
Why, that just sounds like every day I have had in my whoie entire life. It's not too bad, though. You don't get bored...because you can't remember what you were doing 10 minutes ago. And every day, I find something I thought I had lost because I can not remember where I put it...so I just have little surprise parties all day!
This is probably the best post I have ever read. :) I love it!!!
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