The Gift of Grief

I’ve been trying to decide where to go with this all week.  Some of what I’m probably going to say is roughly formulated in my head, but I have a feeling the bulk will come out as I just start typing, but isn't that what blogs are for - just to get it all out there?? 

I really don’t even know where to start except to say that this week has made me think long and hard about life – again – about experiences, people God brings into our lives, their influence, the things we carry with us without always being conscious of them and the things and people who make us who we are. 

Anyone who knows me well knows that I tend to be an emotional person – easily brought to tears over children, memories, heartfelt stories, work (ugh!), relationships – pretty much anything deemed ‘meaningful’ in life. 

Last weekend, I saw a post on Facebook that one of my favorite all-time people had passed away.  I gasped when I saw it.  Without naming names or going into any detail out of respect for his family, he was one of the managers that I worked for during my years at Chick-Fil-A at Southlake Mall.  He was actually one of the two people that hired me.  I have always said those were some of the most fun and best years of my life – because of the company, the people, the sense of family, the fun, the work ethic we all learned, and the camaraderie.  I’ve never looked it up until today, but the definition of ‘camaraderie’ is ‘mutual trust and friendship among people who spend a lot of time together’ – and that is definitely what we had during those years.  He was a motivator and a visionary.  He was fun, funny and a real ‘anything’s possible’ kind of guy.  As I listened to his Celebration of Life service this past week, I heard that he was that to a lot of people. 

We had a get-together about 4 years ago of the old crew that used to work at our store.  It was a wonderful time to reconnect and even in planning it and hearing from people who weren’t able to attend, that sense of camaraderie is still alive and well!  We are all MUCH older now, but we all still share the sense of family and what those years meant to all of us.  At any rate, this former boss was able to attend, and it was wonderful to see him.  Lots more I could say here, but as mentioned above, out of respect for his family, I won’t.

In thinking through this ‘gift of grief’ theme, I admit that I have a very hard time with the emotion associated with loss.  It leaves me pensive and emotional, yet so thankful for the years I have known that person, whoever it is, and that’s where I’m at now.  I’m sure most of us feel this way.  I have lost a few friends who passed away long before they should have and I have lost a number of people whom I have respected and looked up to throughout my life.  This former boss is one of those.  I’m so sad to know he’s not here anymore, but I know where he is (!!), and I am so thankful that I had the chance to know him. I have always smiled when he came to mind, and I know that will not change!

I’m learning that while grief is hard, it’s also a gift because it is a tangible reminder of the people who have shaped us and made us into who we are today.  That lesson is certainly not lost on me, and the older I get, the more clearly it comes into focus.  When I think of it that way, although I hate the way grief hits me, I can honestly say, as hard as it is, there is not one single thing I would do to change any of the circumstances that brought these people and my love for them into my life.  God had His reasons for having our paths cross, and that is a gift in and of itself.